In the Shadow of the Shield (Secret Lives Series Book 2) Read online

  “Do it. Slowly!” No one could say she hadn’t learned a thing or two from her detective husband.

  With his right hand, he reached up inside his collar and pulled on a chain around his neck. A black leather case slid out from inside his jacket. Flipping it open, he showed her a badge and ID combination she had seen hundreds of times before. Handing it to her, he waited while she inspected it. The badge read Virginia Beach Police Department, and the card identified him as Officer Carter Ryan. She slowly lowered her gun, but didn’t put it away just yet.

  “Sorry. A woman can’t be too careful these days.”

  “I understand, Mrs. Massey.”

  “Do I know you?”

  “I’m sure you don’t remember, but we met several years ago. Massey was my FTO.”

  Donnie had worked as a field training officer for rookies for several years before becoming a detective. She had met all of his trainees at least once, but there were so many. Diana shook her head.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t remember you.” The wind picked up. Diana hugged herself against the chill as the gust passed by them. “What are you doing here?”

  “I suppose the same thing you are. Would you mind if I stood up now? This ground is pretty cold and damp.”

  She stepped back and nodded. “Go ahead.”

  Carter Ryan moved with the grace and smoothness of a feline. She studied him while he straightened himself and brushed away dirt and leaves from his clothes and hair. He had clear blue eyes and the same closely cropped haircut Donnie had always worn. He was taller than Donnie though, and thinner through the shoulders; the flannel shirt and jacket he wore fit him well. She couldn’t help but notice he was good looking, in an outdoorsy sort of way.

  “Massey is the first guy I’ve known who died in the line of duty. I like to come up and pay respects every once in a while. Let him know he hasn’t been forgotten.”

  Diana nodded. “That’s very kind of you, Officer Ryan. I don’t think too many in the department feel the way you do. I’ve never seen anyone else up here.”

  “Your husband was a good man.” He reached out and touched the back of her hand. The touch, although quick and light, held an intensity that surprised her. He stared down at her for a moment, looking like he wanted to say something else, but changed his mind.

  “He was. I miss him terribly.” Embarrassed by her emotions, she turned back toward her car. “It was nice to meet you again, Officer Ryan.”

  She had made it only a few feet when Carter Ryan fell into step beside her. “Massey would never forgive me if I didn’t see you to your car. The sun’s about to set, and who knows what sort of shady characters lurk in the cemetery after dark.”

  She remembered the hinky feeling that had driven her out of the memorial park and shivered. “I appreciate the escort, but as you’ve now seen, Donnie taught me how to protect myself.”

  Carter laughed. “That he did.” He rubbed his hands together. “Mrs. Massey, it’s downright cold out here. Would you let me buy you a cup of coffee at that diner over there before I send you on your way? It’s the least I could do for the wife of my own personal hero.”

  She stopped walking and looked up at the young man. He had to be at least fifteen years her junior, yet his eyes held an aged quality, like he had seen far more of the evils of the world than most. Of course he had. If he was half the cop Donnie had been, he carried his own fair share of demons in his mind. She liked him. He had a gentle, yet strong demeanor and had obviously been raised to be a gentleman. With Jackson out with his friends, all that waited for her was a cold, empty house. What harm would one cup of coffee do? It would be nice to be in the company of a man again, even if only for a little while.

  Diana glanced back toward the old oak tree and her husband’s eternal resting place. It had been a year since he left her. Donnie wouldn’t expect her to mourn him and be alone forever. That wasn’t his style. She looked back at Carter and smiled.

  “Coffee would be wonderful. Thank you.”

  ***

  The mug warmed her near frozen fingers. The second they had entered the diner, she saw someone Donnie used to work with. She had been regretting the invitation ever since. She couldn’t shake the feeling that all eyes were on her as she sat across from Carter in the corner booth. Did the whole world expect her to be alone forever?

  Get a grip, Di. When did you become so damned whiny?

  “Don’t worry about Smith over there. He won’t say anything about us being here together.”

  Hmmm…Officer Ryan was perceptive. “It’s just strange, I guess, seeing people that I used to see when I was with Donnie.”

  “Donnie was a brother to all of us. That makes you part of the family, and we take care of our own.”

  She smiled as she sipped her coffee. “Thank you, Officer Ryan.”

  “Please, call me Carter.” He smiled back at her.

  “Okay, Carter.” From the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Detective Smith exiting the diner. Finally. She relaxed against the back of the booth.

  “So, I have a confession to make.”

  She tilted her head to the side and studied his serious expression. It worried her.

  “What sort of confession?”

  “I went to the cemetery today hoping to run into you.”

  That confused her. “Me? Why?”

  “I wanted to talk to you about something. I knew it was—I knew a year had passed, and I hoped you would visit.” He paused and sipped his own drink. Again, he looked so much older than he actually was.

  “How long did you wait?”

  “Pretty much all day.” He grinned. “I’m a patient man when I need to be.”

  “It’s cold out there. You wasted an entire day in that chill air hoping to run into me?”

  “I told you, I needed to speak to you.”

  “What did you want to talk to me about?”

  He didn’t answer for so long she began to fear that he didn’t hear her question. Finally, he looked up and offered a hesitant smile.

  “I don’t think your husband’s death was the accident the department would like you to believe.”

  “Not an accident? Seriously? What makes you think that?”

  “I’m not really sure yet. It’s a feeling I have. Did they ever really tell you what happened?”

  “Donnie was called to a house they suspected was a meth lab. He was first on the scene, cleared the house, and said no one was there. The doctor said his death resulted from being poisoned by a toxic gas with an effect similar to carbon monoxide. Did the doctor lie?”

  Carter shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. I mean, I just don’t know. But something isn’t right. No one talks about him at work. It’s all hush-hush, and that concerns me.”

  “Are you saying the whole department is in on some kind of cover-up?”

  Carter exhaled. “Not the whole department. I don’t think all the pieces fit together like they should. I know, I sound crazy.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill. Tossing it on the table, he rose to leave. “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Massey. I never should have bothered you with any of this.”

  As he turned to leave, Diana reached out and took hold of his arm. “Carter. Wait. Don’t go.”

  He turned to look at her, the tropical storm of emotions brewing in his eyes nearly bowling her over. If she hadn’t already been seated, her knees would have collapsed. There was something special about him.

  “Please. Don’t leave yet.” The plea came out in a whisper, much more desperately than she felt comfortable with. Carter Ryan had just put to words the idea she had been ignoring for an entire year, and now she wanted to know for sure that she wasn’t crazy.

  Sliding back into the booth, he took a sip of his coffee, leaned against the seat, and looked at her for a good long time. Finally, he spoke. “I can’t prove it. I am not even sure if it’s true, but I believe that it was no luck of the draw that Donnie arrived on scene before anyone else.” />
  “You think he was set up.” It wasn’t a question so much as a verbal musing of something she had long been considering. “But why?”

  Carter shrugged. “I have no idea. But I intend to find out.”

  “Why involve me?”

  “Because if it was someone who I loved, I would want to be in the loop.”

  Suddenly, she felt more grateful for Carter Ryan than any other human being on the planet. “Thank you, Carter.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I have no idea how I am going to prove all of this, but before I start nosing around I sort of want to know how you feel about it.”

  “I feel like Donnie needs us to find the truth. Especially if there are dirty cops involved.”

  “I’m not saying anyone in the department is directly responsible but…”

  “But, like me, you think there’s something more to it.”

  He nodded. “The pieces don’t add up. Massey was too good of a cop to go rushing into an uncertain situation. Even if he suspected meth—or anything else—he wouldn’t have entered the building. He knew the danger. He would have called for the hazard team. Of course, if someone told him there were kids playing inside, he really wouldn’t have thought twice about running in there.”

  It did her heart a ton of good to have someone else out there voice her thoughts. Logically, she knew what the medical examiner had attributed his cause of death to, but the rest of her couldn’t stop blaming herself for Donnie’s death. To think this death hadn’t been an accident—she couldn’t even comprehend that.

  “Are you okay, Mrs. Massey?”

  “Diana, please. Mrs. Massey doesn’t seem right anymore.” She must have sounded sadder than she had intended, because Carter reached across the table and took her hand. His touch sent unexpected waves of energy pulsing through her.

  Relax, Di, it’s only because a man hasn’t touched you in so long.

  She met his eyes, hoping her own didn’t give away the reaction her body was having to his strong fingers wrapped around hers.

  Carter smiled, waiting for her to respond. Funny thing, she had no idea what he had said.

  “Did I lose you?” Carter rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. It took all her self-control not to jump out of her seat and into his lap. Suddenly she wanted nothing more than to feel the warmth and safety of his embrace. God, she had been so lonely for so long.

  Instead, she smiled and slid her hand back across the table. A flash of disappointment crossed his expression. It happened so fast, she couldn’t be sure if she had actually seen it, or if it had been wishful thinking on her part. “Just got caught up in some old memories. I’m sorry, what was it you were saying?”

  “I was asking if I could get your number.”

  “My number?”

  He smiled again. She liked his smile. “Yes, your phone number. So I can get in touch with you without stalking you at the cemetery.”

  She couldn’t hold back the laugh that came out. “Of course! Although, I have to say, it was sort of exciting having a stalker for, like, five minutes.”

  They exchanged numbers while they finished their coffee and chatted about how unusually cold it was outside for the time of year.

  “There—there’s something else. Something that I have never told anyone, but I guess maybe I should now.”

  “What is it?”

  “The night Donnie died, I received a phone call.”

  “Phone call?”

  “Yes. I thought it was a—wrong number, but they mentioned Donnie by name. They said he was ready.”

  “Ready for what?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Why didn’t you tell anyone when he died? It could have made a difference.”

  “We’ve gotten calls like that before over the years. I texted Donnie, he said he was okay, so it slipped my mind until it was too late to tell anyone.” Not to mention the fact that she was working when the call came in, and that would have crushed her son. Carter nodded his understanding.

  “Thank you for meeting me today, Mrs.—I mean, Diana.”

  “It’s not like you gave me much choice.” She softened the words with a smile.

  He laughed. She had begun to like his laugh as much as his smile. So not a good thing.

  “I’m sorry I startled you. I thought it would be better than showing up at your house unannounced.”

  “You’re absolutely right. It’s always better to show up unannounced in a graveyard. Next time, just call instead.” She winked and flashed him yet another smile. Oh wow, was she actually flirting with Carter? He had to be barely older than Jackson! Okay, maybe he wasn’t that young, but she was that old.

  “This isn’t something I’d want to discuss over the phone.”

  “You’d be surprised what I talk about on the phone.” She laughed. Carter looked at her curiously.

  “I can see now why Massey was so happy. The way he always talked about you—I was envious of his life.”

  “Surely your wife…”

  “Left me after two years on the job. She couldn’t handle the stresses of being married to a cop, I guess.”

  “I’m sorry. I suppose the job isn’t for everyone.”

  “Or every wife. We couldn’t all be as lucky as Massey.”

  She felt her cheeks warm, despite the chill she still felt from being outside. “You never wanted to remarry?”

  “I would love to have a wife and a family. It just wasn’t in the cards.”

  “You’re young. There’s still plenty of time.”

  “I’m older than you think.”

  “How many years has it been since Donnie trained you?”

  “Right around twelve.”

  “It’s been that long?” Much longer than she thought. Hmmm…

  “Seems like yesterday, doesn’t it?”

  She nodded. The server approached the table with a fresh pot of coffee, but they waved her away.

  “I suppose I should be getting home. My son will be home soon, and I need to get dinner started.”

  “That’s one thing I really feel like I have missed out on.”

  “What? Dinner?” she teased, knowing full well he was referring to having children.

  “Aren’t you the witty one? And it only took one cup of coffee. Wonder what tricks you have up your sleeve after two cups?”

  “I guess we’ll have to find out another time.”

  Carter rose from his seat. “It has truly been a pleasure, Diana.”

  She stood up also, marveling again at his impressive height. “It most definitely has been. Especially the stalking part. Best thing to happen to me in months.”

  He laughed as he reached over and took her coat from her. Turning her around, he held the coat out for her to slip into. She had really missed having a man in her life.

  He is not in your life!

  She knew the truth, but it felt good to pretend for a few minutes. Together they walked out of the restaurant, Carter stopping to hold the door for her and help her down the steps. When they reached her car, he waited while she unlocked the doors and slid behind the wheel. She turned the key to let the engine warm up some.

  “Thank you for having coffee with me, Diana.”

  “Thank you for inviting me.”

  “I will definitely be in touch in the next few days. Can we keep this between us for now?”

  “Oh, absolutely,” she replied, maybe a little too vehemently. Carter laughed.

  “Good. Take care of yourself.”

  She waved and pulled away from the curb. Carter straightened, his hands shoved into his pockets, watching her as she drove away. Their eyes met in the rearview mirror as a large black van pulled out in front of her. Gravel flew everywhere as she slammed on the brakes and turned the wheel, trying to avoid the other vehicle, but her efforts were in vain.

  “Diana! Diana!” Carter was screaming as her face slammed into the top of the steering wheel.

  Chapter Five

  “Mom?”r />
  Her head ached and her chest throbbed. It took all she had to open her eyes and peer up at the very worried set of familiar brown eyes peering down at her.

  “Donnie?” The words came out in a croak, barely above a whisper. The eyes went from worried to sad.

  “No, Mom. It’s me, Jackson.”

  She squeezed back the tears that threatened and took a deep breath before opening her eyes again. “Of course it’s you. I never realized how much you look like your father when he was your age.”

  “I miss him too, Mom. Are you okay?”

  She glanced around the curtained space. “I don’t know. I think so. What happened?”

  “You were in a car wreck.”

  “A pretty nasty one too,” a newly familiar voice spoke up. Carter stepped into her line of sight. “The airbag failed.”

  “Mom, this is Officer Ryan. He used to work with Dad. He saw the whole thing.”

  Embarrassment washed over her in heavy waves. Oh boy, she must look like hell. Trying to keep it cool, she smiled at Carter.

  “Your mom and I met earlier today.”

  “Oh?” Jackson looked from her to Carter.

  “Yes, I went to visit your Dad. Officer Carter was there to pay his respects as well.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  “So, if you were there, what exactly happened?” she asked Carter.

  “I’m not totally sure. The road was clear as you started to drive away, and then that van came out of nowhere. After you hit it, the driver took off.”

  “A hit and run?”

  “Yes. And the van had no tags on it.”

  No tags? “It’s against the law to drive a vehicle without a license plate.”

  Carter chuckled. “I know. That’s my point.”

  “Hey, go easy on her, man. She whacked her head pretty hard,” Jackson snapped.

  “Mmm…no wonder my head feels like someone is inside my skull banging on it with a hammer.” She reached up and rubbed her forehead. “Why does my chest hurt?”

  “Seat belt,” Carter replied. “It did its job, fortunately. You are going to be pretty bruised for a while, though.”

  “Oh, okay.” With her eyes closed, the pain seemed to dull some. “Jackson, go find a nurse and see about getting me out of here. I want to go home and take a hot bath right about now.”